The Runners Up

Well we've selected all of the fantastic vendors who will help us make the wedding into a special event!  Throughout the process we've placed a premium on customer service and I think we've found a collection of folks who surpassed the high bar that we've set for our wedding.

But, alas, not everyone can be fantastic.  Along the way we've encountered a few examples of less than phenomenal customer service.  I will now relay the stories of these meetings in a tone of condescension and mockery.  Enjoy! As expected, all names have been changed to protect the guileless.

Wedding Reception Location Lady at Big Mansion

Most people like to plan out the details of their own wedding.  Erica and I, being people, fall squarely into this category.  Thus it was a little concerning when WRLLaBM (we'll call her) started going through every detail of the reception declaring "This is how we do it here."  Maybe we should be thankful for her desire to alleviate us of the burden of having to plan our own wedding.  But explaining that the cake had to be in a different room because "that's the way the mansion wanted it." might leave the guests a tad troubled.

Helpfulness: D+

Politeness: C-

Creepiness: C

Videographer Man
When someone contacts you and declares "We've decided on you, when can we meet?" it's usually best to jump up and make it happen.  Answering with "I still have more questions." (and more questions, and more questions and more questions) and then finally scheduling a meeting only to cancel it multiple times is not advised behavior.  Also not advised, waiting weeks to call someone back and giving bad explanations like "I'm so busy around tax time," or "I just plain forgot." (which made me appreciate the decency of a good excuse.)

Helpfulness: C+

Politeness: B-

Dependability: F

Quick tip for the gentlemen readers, the above paragraph is also good advice re: courtin' the ladies.

Certain Local Wedding Dress Retail Chain
This story I relay through Erica who scheduled an appointment for a dress fitting at a certain local wedding dress retail chain and arrived on time only to have to wait, and wait, and wait.  But perhaps she misunderstood the nature of wedding dress appointments.  Maybe they're more like doctor's appointments than she realized.  Still if that's the case, the least they could do is provide you with a month old issue of Healthy Living to peruse while you wait.  Instead (after about 45 minutes of waiting) Erica's mother decided to fill her time by looking through dresses on her own, resulting in a rude salesperson chirping "Are you being helped?"  Her response, "We're supposed to be!"  Turns out all the salespeople were busy helping customers who were buying more expensive dresses.

Helpfulness: D

Politeness: F

Ability to keep Erica's mom happy: F-

Tuxedo Rental Lady

I'm no fashionista, but I do have a decent sense of what looks good (thank you Project Runway!).  Still, if I'm making a ridiculously misguided choice I'd hope my salesperson responds by gently inching me toward something more acceptable instead of declaring "You're doing that?" with disgust or "Are you serious?" and then forcefully nudging me toward styles that match less (I'm fashionable enough to know that if the groom has a one button jacket, the groomsmen shouldn't have three button jackets), but are far more expensive.

Helpfulness: D-

Politeness: D-

Voice's ability to reach pitches audible only to dogs: A+

Mr. DJ
This DJ was probably my favorite bad vendor.  He started our meeting by forgetting our meeting, then telling us that he'd forgotten our meeting, then chewing the remaining scraps of his dinner throughout our meeting, stopping briefly to spit a little on his shirt.  He attempted to impress us by referring to weddings he'd worked by the names of the couples.  "Oh yeah, we did that for Frank and Sandra's wedding," he'd say as he showed us a photo.  He did this over and over and over.   Was he just good at remembering names?  Possibly, but he kept forgetting ours.  We did appreciate him cluing us into his reception routine by cracking every bad joke he knew during our meeting.  Example: "So then we'll select a song to play during your cake smashing... I mean cutting ceremony, yuk yuk, hardy-har-har, eh? eh?"

Helpfulness: D

Politeness: C

Joke Quality: Jeff Foxworthy

Footwear Fail!

Ode to the shoes I cannot have , even though I ordered 2 pairs to make sure I had the right size and waited 3 months till they came back into stock, and when I tried them on they hurt my feet just badly enough that I had to remind myself that I didn't want to suffer on my wedding day even though the damn things are freaking gorgeous.



The aubergine hue an obsession
And rosettes desire possession
But a four inch heel
Had little appeal
And this sent me into depression.

Stop the stereotypes, I want to get off!

At times in this whole wedding planning process, I get annoyed at the implication that I, as one who lacks a Y chromosome, have been planning, dreaming about, and obsessing over my wedding since I got my first princess doll shoved into my hands. This is just not the case for me and I assume, despite what all the wedding books, magazines, TV shows and websites say that most brides have not thought of their entire life thus far simply a warm up for a single day.

I mean, look at this girl! She's oozing sweet dreams of wedded bliss. Bonus! She even has her hand on her uterus!

I think the thing that annoys me the most is that it seems to be so accepted that all little girls want is to be pretty (and a mommy). I'm not saying that those are bad qualities... they aren't... and I'm not saying that we don't encourage our girls to aspire to more. But I think we need to give our little girls fewer dolls and more LEGOs.

But that's not to say this hasn't been a ton of fun. It really has been!

Take my dress, for instance. The gown is really the epicenter of the little girl wedding-dream princess-crown thing... but admittedly, despite my being hard hearted when it comes to such fantasies, I really enjoyed trying on dresses. I didn't have a "the one" moment, nor did I or my mother burst into tears, but I did select a dress that could be described as "sexy" and "airy" and "classy" and is entirely unlike anything I would have imagined when I was 6. These are all excellent things.